Beware The Kea (by Joe)

We've found a pest troublesome enough to rival India's monkeys.

It is The Kea of New Zealand, a very large, heavy, long-beaked, green and red highland parrot. Unique to NZ and a protected species (goodness knows why!), they are described in tourist leaflets and 'warning' signs in car parks by careful euphemisms:

- 'Inquisitive'

(i.e. they actively approach you and your car, use their long sharp beaks to pull, tug and rip with at anything shiny (e.g. glasses/ keys/ door handles) or that moves (e.g. windscreen wipers/ radio aerials/ your hands).

- 'Confident'

(i.e. they are completely unmoved and unimpressed by attempts to wave or shoo them away).

- 'Territorial'

(i.e. moving towards them waving a stick to try to get them off your car will incite them to hop or fly directly at you talons out and squawking).

We had a major run-in with one in a car park near Milford Sound, a fjord on the south east coast, which nearly cost us our windscreen wipers (see top). After 10 minutes of losing ground, the best we could do was to get in the car and drive off (it was pretty brave to do that, frankly).

Remarkably, not only are they 'protected', but the Kea are actually 'celebrated' by south islanders. For example, they are widely seen on postcards, in pictures and, say, in restaurant and hotel names.

Perhaps the south islanders associate with the 'inquisitive', 'confident' and 'territorial' Kea rather more than the soft and docile Kiwi ...

Joe